One of my teachers has a discussion question every day. Last week the question was about pet peeves. While a classmate and I were sharing our answers, I was baffled to hear that her biggest pet peeve is when people say sorry for things that don’t require it. I was surprised because I always viewed apologizing as an action that pleased people, not as something that would be annoying. I decided to investigate the topic.
Did you know that the average person says sorry 8-10 times per day? That’s around 3,000 apologies per person per year. While apologies are important to express remorse or regret, like when you accidentally bump into someone or hurt someone’s feelings, over apologizing can change the way people perceive you. Excessive apologizing can lead your peers to think that you lack confidence or boundaries, make them frustrated or annoyed, and even make people view you as a doormat. One example of a time when you might be apologizing unnecessarily is when you raise your hand in class to ask a question. When the teacher calls on you, do you start your question with “Sorry, but…”?
Once you start actively noticing how many times a day you say sorry, you can begin to decide in which instances it is really necessary. Will you think twice before apologizing?
